Grabe. Ang bilis talaga lumipas ng oras. Sino ba kasing umimbento ng oras na yan? Sana nung ginagawa niya medyo pinabagal lang niya kahit konti. Kahit slight lang. Ano sa tingin mo? Ang hirap kasi sabayan eh. Di ko carry ang pace. Haaaaaaay.

Bagong taon na. Hopefully, bagong buhay na rin ako. Yep, you got that right. "Starting Over" ang drama ng 2005 ko ngayon.

Tulungan niyo ako ha. Oo, ikaw. Gusto kong tulungan mo ako sa buhay ko. Oo, ang kulit mo talaga. Sinabi na ngang ikaw eh. Ikaw. Ikaw. Ikaw.

At kasama ng pagbabagong-buhay ko ngayon ay ang pag-uupdate ng blog. Tulungan niyo rin ako dun ha.

Basta peeps, tulungan na lang tayo ngayong 2005. Yun lang ang gusto ko... magtulungan tayong lahat. Tayo. Lahat. Magtulungan.

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 1:48 PM.

Great Expectations

I officially became an irregular student last semester. My academic blunder got my studies delayed for a year. And I'm here to tell you... it was the most humbling experience of my entire life. Yes, falling like that was hard. And cliche tells us that getting back up is even harder...

So I've been exerting quite an effort on my studies ever since the semester started. I've been working extra-hard for the past five months to get great grades. I've been expecting a lot from this semester and I thought that it would be a good one. At the very least, I expected that it would be a good one.

And right now, the sem is already over. Tell me I'm quite delusional... but with a GWA of 1.80, I still am very much disappointed. Very... very... disappointed.

For starters, let me give you a rundown of my subjects and grades... NatSci 2 - 1.50; STS - 1.50; Econ 11 - 1.50; SocSci 2 - 1.75; Math 101 - 2.75.

Yep. You saw that right. Math 101 - 2.75. The very subject I was sure I would do a great job at (coz I love Math and I'm Good at it)... became the subject that would spare me the only glimmer of academic bliss I could have possibly achieved amidst my down-trodden and pain-stricken year.

Call me a bitch. Call me grade-conscious. Call me a grade-conscious bitch. Damn you, but I won't complain one freakin' bit. Hey, let me remind you... this God-damn grade-conscious biyotch didn't get what he deserve. And frankly... I deserve quite a lot.

Let me paint you a little picture of how I fared in this subject of contention. There are only a total of 5 exams during the entire semester for both the lecture and laboratory portions which make-up half-and-half of the total grade. Believe it or not, I got the highest grade in at least 2 of these exams... 97% for the 1st lab exam and 94% for the 3rd lecture exam. I said "at least 2" because we were not able to see the results of our 2nd lab exam - which I assure you, without even batting an eyelash... was infinitely easy. An ultimate no-brainer.

So what in the world did I do to get this grade?! Did the cosmos conspire to make me feel miserable even more?! How thicker could Professor Magboo (the culprit whose signature appears on the card) still be?! Hmmmmm... so many questions... so few answers. But don't worry... I do not intend to answer all of my life's queries in this article. I guess this is just a necessary outburst... my personal form of therapy... in retaliation with that one wee piece of paper that has the number 2.75 encircled in it. Up to now, I still cannot believe it. I really cannot imagine that this could happen... right at this unstable and uneasy point in my life. It's chilling. It's anxiety at its very best. At the back of my mind, I've known that it could happen, that it could come... but at the same time, I was still oblivious to the fact that I never saw it hitting the always-apathetic me. They're damned... and so am I.

Tell me, am I behaving rationally? Coz if you think I am not, the tagboard is just a click away. But still, it won't matter to me that much. Because although the sheer irritation that this has caused me isn't exactly unbearable... anyone would hate to have something like this shoved up his ass anyway. Honestly, I was kinda hoping... praying... that after I am through with making this blog entry, I would at least feel a little pacified. That I would feel some sort of closure or comfort in any level. But still... that elusive feeling of contentment seems so far away.

Let's deconstruct things a bit. I am not a grade-conscious person. Yes, I could be a bitch. And on the other end, Professor Magboo has had this knack of giving unfair grades to students his entire life. It's a "track record" he supposedly keeps untarnished. Other students have, in fact, fallen into the same trap. So, who the hell am I to complain and begin to assume that he could have changed? I'm just another student to his slanted eyes. Unfair don't you think? Well... life always is.

Back to the question... I still think that my behavior was rational. Yet, it was quite uncalled for. I guess I was under the immense and unnecessary pressure to prove to myself and to everyone else that I could still be a star-baller right after I fucked up big time at school. And somehow, I was under the impression that becoming a College Scholar (the equivalent of a Dean's Lister) again is a way of going through that dilemma that I myself created.

Ouch. That was me falling hard on my face once more. It dawned on me. I was nowhere near fixing my problem than I was trying to evade it! Certainly, I just need to pick up the shattered pieces of my life and then keep it together. But try as I might, even the "picking up" phase is already very taxing and almost impossible to accomplish. But on the other hand, I still believe that I'll make it thru, I just don't know exactly when. No MRR for me hopefully.

And I must get a grip on myself and shake me back into the realization that getting high grades is something of an excuse that I had in order to make myself believe that I am getting better at "it" again. Messed up life? Check. Messed up solutions? Check. More excuses? Check. Wow... what an idiot. (Check.)

The fact is: the grades can come later. And they will surely come, if and only if, I get everything behind it in order. But how will I?

Tsk. Hard problem. And an even harder solution. Right now, I am enjoying myself trying to look for that silver lining which supposedly exists in every raincloud. But where the hell is it? Does it still exist? Or has it finally retreated to the forsaken shadows of fixated story-tellers whence it came? Come on, it has to be there somewhere. I mean, the world became a better place because of it so I'm sure it's lurking behind a gazillion nimbus clouds hovering above me right now, threatening to drown me in all their rain-fury should I put one more toe over the line.

20/20 vision? Check. Still, can't see nothing from where I'm standing.

Well then, maybe... just maybe, I am not supposed to see a silver lining at all! I know it's sad, but it is a possibility. It could be the universe's way of telling me for the nth time that it had been spiralling into a state of total chaos for the past 18 years or so of his life. And everyone simply has to come along for the ride.

And that includes me. So no matter how bad I feel with the life I live, I know that someone is having an even harder time. It's life's way of relaying to us a fundamental law of survival: we should iron out our own mess first; before we go out and try to make the world around us a better place to live in. In that way, we all can help in trying to arrest the universe's constant descent to Satan-dom. That, I can do.

Otherwise, let's all just get out there and commit even bigger triumphs and mistakes. And yet have no cap to put our feathers on.

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 3:16 PM.

Ang Asong Mana Kay Harry

It's not always in my intention to make my entries sound funny and satirical. I don't know, but they almost always seem to end up that way. But this time, my next story is something not exactly funny. It can be spooky, but still... it is quite amusing. Read on.

Our household help has been sick since Friday. And sick people need rest and relaxation. So, she hasn't been doing her chores at home lately. And one of her chores include feeding the dogs at night after the entire family has had dinner.

Being the youngest person in the house, many of her tasks have been assigned to me - including the one which I mentioned above. Nakakainis talaga maging bunso sa bahay no?

We have two dogs at home. One lives near the front door and another one for the back door. I have no problems feeding Tootsie, the one near the front gate. But MJ, the dog backdoor... well, feeding him isn't always a great experience. First, he's very rowdy and noisy especially when someone with food is around. And second (the one with the spook factor), he always manages to escape his cage even after I've locked it shut.

This had been happening since Friday and went on for three straight nights.

We checked his all-metal cage a number of times already. Nothing's wrong with it. The same goes with the lock in his door. And even scarier is the fact that when we check his cage right after we discover that he escaped yet again, all the locks in the cage door are still in place. It seems as if he simply teleported right out of his cage coz there's no evidence at all that he squeezed his way thru its door or bars.

Tsk tsk tsk. Our place isn't exactly ghost-infested. But it ain't really ghost-free either. One of my grandmothers, who has a knack for waking up and going to church very early in the morning, has indeed told us that she has seen a few "weird beings" in the past at that same place.

And someone even told our maid that her sickness actually occurred because "may nagambala" sha sometime when she was feeding the dogs herself. The doctor, on the other hand, told her that she has UTI and prescribed her a few things. What's funny is that she seems unresponsive to her medications. Three days of treatment and still very little improvement.

Oh well. That's my little anecdote for today. Wait lang, may lesson ka bang natutunan? Ako parang wala eh. Hehehe.

The end.



PS: The title alludes to Harry Houdini. Not Harry Potter.

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 1:18 PM.

Gusto Kong Maging Comedian!

Feeling ko nakakatuwa akong tao. Feeling ko masayahin akong tao. Feeling ko masaya ang lahat kapag kasama nila ako. Feeling ko may kulang sa party kapag wala ako...

Feel niyo rin ba ako? O talagang nagfifeeling lang din ako?

Sa aking pakiwari, high school ako nung una kong napansin tong mahiwagang talento ko. Wala lang, feeling ko super sociable kong tao. It started with that; na sadyang marami akong friendly-friendships. Of course, someone simply cannot have too many friends diba? Yun ang talagang nasa isip ko.

Akala ko lang naman kasi nung una, nahuhumaling lang talaga lahat ng tao sakin. Oh well, alam niyo naman kasi ang mga species namin at ang iba ko pang mga ka-uri - sadyang nakakatuwa at nakakahalina! To a major extent, inborn na rin naman kasi sa lahat ng mga taong may hibla ng kashoklaan sa kanilang katawan ang maging malandi - and I'm not just talking of gay men! (wholesome to ha...) Go figure.

Pero ngayong kolehiyo, napagisip-isip ko. That I could do soooo much more than make people happy. The fact is, that I could actually make people laugh. And believe me, I'm not just talking of Dolphy-esque slapstick on my part. Ang sarap kasi isipin na tunay namang maraming natutuwa sa intergalactic form ng humor ko (without having to make myself look dumb) at pati mga aliens at mga lamang-lupa ay nagagalak! Taray no?

I never really thought about doing this as a profession really seriously. Pero if you've been following the goings-on in my blog for at least a few days now *look at the previous entry*, dapat alam mo na medyo naloka ako sa isang tunay namang nakaka-derail ng pagiisip na sing-along master sa isang place na kinainan namin 2 weeks ago. He (or was that a she?) was babbling all night long. For the most part, he was talking non-stop gibberish interspersed with a few witty comments on the side.

Example? Leanne (that's his name) asked me and my friends where we were from. So I said that we just came from school, "UP." He then asked us our course, so we replied, "Nursing." Twas nothing but small talk, and we conversed in simple English. Next thing we knew, whenever he had to talk to our group, he was always referring to us as "ang mga sosyal." And we were like, "what the fuck was that all about?!" Perplexing huh? A freak and totally unnecessary case of a hasty generalization. Wish ko lang mag-Philo 1 din sha.

So the fact that our bunch were health science majors was already out. Then came his next joke... he asked someone, who was obviously not studying anymore, what his course was back in college. Naturally, I did not pay attention to what the guy's reply was. But then came his horrendous follow-up comment. "Alam mo ba course ko nun? Kwashiorkors."

What came next was a deafening and uneasy state of non-applause and non-comprehension of what the "joke" meant. For all you out there who's equally clueless on what Kwashiorkor is, it's a severe form of malnutrition possibly coupled with protein deficiency. I know this because I'm a health major. For everyone else who was unfortunate enough to be inside Iris Place at that exact moment, I don't even expect them to have any idea on how the word was spelled or what it remotely meant.

Oh well, I honestly appreciate the effort to reach out to the "healthy crowd" that night (or morning, I wasn't really sure). But my golly, the outcomes of his spiels were just unforgivable. Pasalamat sila na libre ang pagkanta sa kanila kundi may-I-get-out na agad ang role namin dun! Hehehe.

((Pero wait lang! I thought this entry is about me wanting to become a comedian... lumalayo na tayo sa ating napakarelevant na discussion eh. Hehehe.))

And one other thing that's always included in the Showbiz Superstar Formula is that you must have a "sob story" to go with your career. Let's take Sarah Geronimo for example, we all know her "Wala na kaming ipambabayad sa renta ng bahay" comments when she was still starting. Or Hero Angeles and his champorado-for-Noche-Buena story. Or the budding comedian Pokwang, who I recently discovered had to go work in Japan just to make ends meet, getting pregnant twice with different fathers, and one of her sons dying due to a brain tumor. Now THAT'S a real sob story.

Pero ako? Meron ba ko nun? Haaaaay... let's see. We've had great Noche Buenas my entire life. We never had to rent a house and not be able to pay for it. And I've never experienced any death in my immediate family ever. Okey, so does that mean I have no sob story to tell when I hit it big hopefully in the near future?

Hindi naman siguro. I have my own stories to share, too. And believe me, they are just as heart-warming and "bawl-provoking." Baka nga "pang-Magpakailanman" pa ang dating nung iba eh! Hahaha! But seriously, may tearjerker man akong kuwento o wala, diba what's important naman is that you have the talent to make you shine?

That's exactly it - talent. In a world dominated by fags and the brand of humor that requires you to viciously and sometimes personally insult anyone who gets into your field of vision, it's just disheartening to see that Pinoy-style comedy is actually "evolving backwards," which is contrary to what the real Theory of Evolution proposes. Comedy as we know it here in the Philippines is going downhill. And in a very steep and dangerous hill at that.

Mapipigilan pa kaya natin to? I believe the answer is a resounding YES. And I am not about to tell you that the only way forward is through me coz that would be pure hypocrisy. What I am trying to say is that, kahit nasaang profession ka pa man, we should all strive to be better in what we do. But if you honestly think that "better" means showing everyone how dumb you are or by making it sure that the person who gets onstage becomes embarassed personally and unnecessarily, then there is where the problem lies.

Should anyone, with the betterment of his work in mind, even begin to think that way? I think not. And hopefully, everyone would also try to think that way. We should always be open-minded and insightful in everything we do. After all, there are always two sides to a story like this. And even our own brains have two sides in it.

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 1:07 PM.

Magister Mundi sum! I am the Master of the Universe! You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you probably deserve to be. Rock on.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 5:39 PM.

That So-So Weekend

It's been a while since I last went here. Well, anyway, what's important is that I'm already back! Let the fun begin!

Friday. Hmmm... reminisce... reminisce... I had an exam Friday afternoon - SocSci2. It was quite hard (*giggles*) kasi puro sha essay questions eh. But still, the fabulous writer in me pushed thru and made me finish the exam quite on time. Damn, I wish I also read about Karl Marx. One, our equally fabulous professor told us he's really gay and two, he appeared in the only bonus question on the exam. Sayang!

I attended the Nursecissism program that same night in my college. For all you non-UPCN peeps, ang Nursecissism ay isang annual talent show ng buong UPCN family. From the faculty, to the admin, to the students - lahat nagiging pasaway sa gabing ito. It's a chance where everyone gets a chance to let his/her hair down - literally and figuratively. Mga tol, though hindi naman sobrang laking production ito ng UP - this program still has sentimental value for me. *Music please* Why ba kanyo? Kasi just a year ago ay... ay... ay... nanalo ang beauty ko ng isang Best Male Performer Award sa skit ng batch namin! Buwahahaha!

At alam niyo ba ang role ko!? Itong role kong ito kahit sila Meryll Streep or sila Nora Aunor pa yata ang gumanap eh hinding-hindi nila make-carry... I was the Queen Evil Witch in our own parody of The Wizard Of Oz! Ahihihihi! Antaray no?!

At may isa pa kong highlight ng gabing nagdaan. Ang mga nagsiladlad naming faculty eh nagimpersonate ng mga divas of our time. Nag-ala-Night of the Champions with matching Gloria Estefan at Beyonce Knowles sa stage ng auditorium ang mga taong siya ring nagtuturo sa amin ng Anatomy, Pathophysiology, Psychology, Maternal Health Nursing at kung anu-ano pa. Mga pasaway talaga ang mga lokaaah.

Now, take a look at the right sidebar of my blog. Ayan, pansinin mo ang listahan ng mga links jan. May isang diva rin jan eh. Spotted it already? Nope? Sige hanap pa...

Ayun! Kita mo na?! Si Mariah nanjan diba? Ayun ay dahil isa akong masugid na Mariah Carey fan. Kaya nagfifeeling akong isang affiliate ng site niya. Hehehe. At alam mo ba kung sino ang nagimpersonate sa idol kong si Mariah?!

Alam mo ba?! So Professor Villarta! Si Prof. Bethel Buena Villarta! FYI, siya ang dahilan kung bakit bum ako ngayon. Now go figure. Basta, para sakin - yun ang highlight ng buong gabi ko. As in. Panalo to the nth level.

So back from the future. After all the hysteria, the seniors ended up on top. The juniors, Batch 2006, landed on 2nd place. Hindi inexpect ng batch ang second best finish na yun. Swear! Kasi naman no, mga tunay na pasaway ang ibang mga taong nageepal sa paggawa ng productions dun! Eh mga... ay nako po... nagkakasala lang ako sa ginagawa ko eh. Basta, yun na yun! Ang masasabi ko lang is that - ehem - the production would be better off without some of them and their abysmal ideas. Period. Wa erase! Buwahahaha!

At shempre, nang matapos ang gabi, halos namamatay na kaming lahat sa gutom. So we had to go somewhere and eat. The problem? I had no money left. Then, it was Chenee to the rescue! Wheeeeee! We went to a bar-resto-sing-along joint near the school - Iris Place. The place was great, though it was quite small. The food was okay, though it had very small servings. The ambience was excellent, but the sing-along master was... at best, amusing. Just that. He wasn't funny, witty, or original at all. Neither was he good at singing. The nerve!

Honestly, I thought I would have done a better job than that fag (*sorry, but that's how he seemed to me*) in dealing with that crowd. That night, his audience was incredibly varied. UP students, UP alumni, families, drinking buddies, whole barkadas. His joke-repertoire could have been easily packed. But no, he was dumb enough not to capitalize on that. He's a disgrace to our kind! Hahaha! (*More to come on that not-so-fabulous sing-along master*)

Time went by quite fast. Maya-maya ay bigla kong naramdaman ang urge na magtext kay Inay upang magpaalam na gagabihin ako though technically ay gabi na. Eh batt-empty na ko nun so nakitext ako kay Eric. Maya-maya lang ulit ay nagreply si Inay sa phone ni Eric.

Galit na sha at pinapauwi na ako! Malufet!

Still, the bitch in me prevailed and chose to stay on with my barkada. Medyo ngarag na rin ako nun at gusto pang-magpakawarat. Pero nung nakauwi naman ako, walanghiya - tulog na si Inay, si Itay ay tulog na rin sa harap ng TV sa sala kakahintay sakin.

But the best and the most bizarre is yet to come. The following morning - hindi ako pinagalitan ni Inay! (*gasp*) Tan-tan-tan-taaaaaaaaaan!

Ngunit bakit? Hay nako. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit hindi sha naguramentado sa alas-3 kong uwi. Hehehe.

Sige, pag-iisipan ko muna kung bakit. (*More to come on that bizarre incident*)

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 3:57 PM.

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 1:32 PM.

Ang Kabayo at Ang Pilipino

Nasa baywalk kami nakatambay mula Saturday night hanggang Sunday morning. Andun lang kami ng ilan sa barkada ko. Nakaupo lang. Nagkukuwentuhan. Nagdedebate paminsan-minsan. Kumakain ng halo-halo o taho. Nagchichismisan. Nagkakaroon ng isang intellectually-stimulating discussion kumbaga. (Please refer to my earlier entry for minutes of the discussion. Hehehe.)

Hindi na namin namalayan ang pag-usad ng oras. Ng mga minuto. Ng mga segundo. Nagkakainitan na nun sa usapan...

Nang bigla na lang nakita namin ang mga tao na nagtatakbuhan mula sa kanilang mga kinauupan at kinatatayuan patungo sa may sidewalk ng Roxas Boulevard! Nagulat kami at nagulantang ang aming mga isipan. Nagising muli ang aking diwa at naisip ko na baka... baka... baka nandun si... ano... si... siya na nga yata!

Baka naroon si Mystica at sadyang marami lang siyang mga fans nung panahong iyon sa baywalk! Ang laki kasi ng mini-stampede eh! Tapos mukhang mga jologs pa yung mga nagtatakbuhan... pero sabi ko sa sarili ko, malamang hindi si Mystica yun. Lahat naman kasi ng mga nagtatakbuhan eh mukhang mga good-natured na tao. Atsaka wala namang dalang itak, bolo, o kris man lang yung iba. Sayang... pero baka... baka naman...

Baka si Carlos Agassi ang nakatambay sa baywalk nun! Puwedeng puwede! Akmang-akma sa kanya ang itsura ng karamihan sa mga taong tumatakbo... maliban sa mukha silang mga jologs, marami rin sa kanila ang mukhang mga bata pa at mga trying-hard na maging yuppies... pero well, nadisappoint pa rin ako kasi wala naman silang mga dalang papel para magpa-autograph siguro. (Pwe! Nakakasuka...) Atsaka konti lang yung mga bading na kumakaripas...

Makalipas ang ilang segundo sa paghupa ng malawakang takbuhan, napansin ko na may kalesa sa lugar na pinupuntahan ng mga tao. Na-amaze ako. Bigla na lang bang naging nationalistic silang lahat kaya sila natuwa ng sobra sa kalesa? Ako nga hindi pa nakakasakay ng kalesa sa buong buhay ko eh. Tiningnan kong maigi ang kalesang nakagewang... ang kucherong ubod ng pangit... at ang... teka lang... Nasan yung kabayo?! Nasan si horsey?! Nasaan si Mola?! Hindi ko sha makita!!!

Tsk tsk tsk... napagtanto ko. Ayun naman pala ang dahilan ng komosyon sa baywalk eh. May kabayong hinimatay. Ang kawawang kabayo ay bigla na lang naubusan ng lakas sa gitna ng Roxas Boulevard at hindi na kinaya dalhin ang sarili niya. Nakaka-awa tuloy.

Habang tumatagal na nakahandusay ang kabayo napansin ko na lalong kumakapal ang mga taong nakapaligid dito. Ang unang pumasok sa isip ko... siguro hindi alam ng mga taong 'to na kapag may hinimatay, dapat bigyan siya ng ample breathing space in order to replenish the supply of oxygen to the brain. Lalo tuloy akong naawa sa kabayo. Naramdaman ko na dapat siyang bigyan ng adequate nursing care sa lalong madaling panahon. Nakakainis yung mga tao talaga... Sila kasi eh. Puro sila mga walang alam sa basic life support! Lahat sila bigla na lang nagtakbuhan papunta sa kabayo para lang makita kung anong nangyari. Wala naman silang lahat gagawin dun kundi tumingin lang! Haaaaay... ang mga Pinoy talaga. Napaka-usisero!

Na-bother talaga ako sa nakita ko. Bakit nga ba kating-kati ang mga Pilipino sa pagiging mga mausisang tao? Alam ko maganda rin naman na concerned ka diba, pero hanggang concern na lang ba dapat? Katulad ng nangyari sa kabayo, palagay ko naman maraming naawa sa kabayong yun. Pero kung hanggang awa lang naman pala ang puwede mong ibigay at ibabalandra mo lang ang sarili mo dun hanggang lalong hindi makahinga yung kabayo, eh di ano pang silbi mo?

Sa totoo lang, mas lalo pa kong nairita kasi lahat sila pagtakbo papunta sa kabayo, nagsitayuan lang silang lahat dun. Wala man lang akong nakitang tumawag sa cellphone nila para humingi ng tulong. May iba siguro na tumawag dun sa mga Baywalk Patrolmen kaya sila dumating. (Isa ako sa mga taong naghanap ng Patrolmen sa paligid.) Pero iilan lang ang nakita kong kumilos para tunay na makatulong. Nakakairita no? Usisero na nga, mga wala pang silbi. Bad trip.

Kahapon ay nanood kami ng iba kong mga kabarkada ng 13 Going On 30 sa Robinson's Ermita (By the way, sobrang ganda ng pelikula! Panoorin niyo rin!). Hindi ko pa rin makalimutan si kawawang horsey at ang kanyang fainting spell sa kalagitnaan ng Roxas. Itinanong ko tuloy sa mga kasama ko kung bakit sa palagay nila eh usisero ang mga Pinoy.

Sabi ni Tin,ang pagiging usisero daw ng mga Pinoy eh dahil sa likas nating pagiging mga sociable na tao. Aniya, gusto raw nating lagi tayong aware at in-the-know sa paligid natin. Sabi ko sa sarili ko... "One word: Chismosa." Hindi ikaw yun Tin ha. Hehehe. Tinanong ko rin ang ka-loveteam ni Tin na si Eric. Sabi naman niya, may connection daw itong trait nating ito sa Bayanihan spirit na dumadaloy sa ating mga dugo! Hmmmm... usisero... bayanihan. Usisero... Bayanihan. Sa totoo lang Eric, hindi ko gets ang konek. Isulat mo na lang sa tagboard ko ha kung gusto mo iclarify ang konseptong gusto mong ipahiwatig. Peace! At ito naman ang sabi ng henyong si V (aka Baconga), ang pagiging usisero nating mga Pilipino ay nag-ugat mula sa panahon pa ng mga Kastila. Dati raw kasi nung saklaw pa tayo ng kapangyarihan ng Espanya ay mariin nilang pinanghahawakan ang anumang uri ng komunikasyon at pagpapalaganap ng mga balita. Pinipigilan daw nila ito - at bunsod nito ay nagkaron ang mga Pilipino ng matinding uhaw para sa katotohanan sa kanilang kapaligiran.

Wow. May sense naman pala talaga eh. Para sa kanila, yun ang mga dahilan (o alibi?) kung bakit ganito tayong mga Pinoy. Pero sa palagay ko, hindi lang yun ang mga rason kung bakit likas na sa ating mga Pilipino ang maging usisero. (Ikaw na nagbabasa nito, may alam ka ba tungkol dito? Andiyan lang ang tagboard ko ha. Magmadali!)

Kung ano man ang dahilan kung bakit tila tatak-Pilipino ang ugaling ito, hindi ko pa rin sigurado. Hindi ko pa rin alam. At gustong-gusto kong malaman.

Ngunit sana lang, sa susunod na maramdaman natin ang ating pagiging mausisang mga nilalang, isipin rin natin na hindi lamang pagaalala ang dapat na maging kaakibat nito. Sana ay maramdaman din natin na hindi lamang "concern" ang kinakailangan ng isang tao (o hayop) na kausi-usisa. At kung magpapaka-walang silbi ka na rin lang pala, eh di lubos-lubosin mo na at huwag ka na lang humarang sa mga taong tunay na may malasakit at tunay na may gagawin.

Hindi magagamot ng awa ng isang milyong Pilipino ang sakit ng isang namamatay nang tao. Dinala ka na nga lang ng mga makakati mong paa papunta dun sa kalunos-lunos na kabayo, ano ba naman yung dalhin mo rin ang mga daliri mo patungo sa pinakamalapit na telepono para humingi ng tulong? Diba? Madali lang din naman gawin yun eh.

Nakakainis. Parang wala man lang nakaisip nun sa kanila noong Sabado. Nakakainis talaga. Nakakabagot. Sobrang nakakairita!

Grabe talaga mga Pilipino no? Mga usisero.

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 1:37 PM.

The Weekend In Retrospect

Wow… in fernez may katagalan na nga since the last time I checked in here. Oh well, the fact is that I’m back again – so let’s keep the ball (*giggles*) rolling! Hmmmm… as I told you, my weekend was supposed to be a blast. And damn blast it did!!! Though I wasn’t able to come to UPLB for the drinking orgy that was supposed to occur… I still had my own dose of wholesome fun (read: wholesome!) at a handful of parties that I went to last Saturday. I woke up Saturday morning as usual (miracle? Not!) and got dressed and had my breakfast blah… blah… blah… and more blah. *Let’s just skip all these useless junk and get right to the good parts, shall we?* After I had lunch at about half past 1, I went to the mall to buy a present for a friend whose party I was going to later that day. Birthday kasi ni Jhoanne nung September 11 – kabirthday niya yung isa pang Tokyo Tokyo uberfriend ko, si Menok. Biro niyo, bumagsak ang World Trade Center Towers nung cinecelebrate nila ang mga birthdays nila?! Tsk tsk tsk… bummer. Well anyway, it was America that got fucked up that day naman eh… so who the hell cares?! (FYI, I ended up buying a maroon visor from Bench.) So being the primadonna that I am, eh di nalate ako sa meeting place namin sa Pembo. Hehehehe. Padu, Joyce and Lorence were waiting for me there. Si Jho, ang butihing celebrant, ay may sinundo pang ibang friends from other parts of the Metro. (Naks!) Eh di yun, fly na ang beauty naming lahat sa bahay nila Jho where we sang (to our heart’s content?) a few songs from their magical videoke. Tapos enter-the-dragon na rin ang kanyang mga fwends from Landscape Archi sa UP Diliman. They easily outnumbered us, the mini-batallion of 6 from Makati Science “against” the dozen from Diliman. Ayun, kanta-kanta, lamon-lamon, kanta-kanta ulit, konting lamon as usual from the side. At first, the entire group polarized into the Makati Science pole and the UP Diliman pole. But being the social eynimals that we are, and also because of the celebrant’s request, the entire group merged and played together. Believe me, ang saya. The more, the merrier talaga! Para kaming isang malaking orgy ng mga hyperactive college bitches and babes na yung iba ay naglalaro ng Pictionary, yung iba eh bumibirit at pinapunish ang mic nila Jho, yung iba nagchichikahan sa isang tabi, and yung iba naman eh naglalaro ng isang napaka-marahas na laro – 1-2-3 pass. Tsk tsk tsk… if only those playing cards could talk… I pity them. And then, suddenly, unexpectedly – Brownout! Blackout! Power shortage! Electricity disruption! Basta! Yun na yun! So tumambay kami sa labas ng bahay nila Jho. Konting kantahan and some of Jho’s friends from Diliman decided to go home na coz it’s getting quite late na daw. Biro mo naman, some of them reside in Tandang Sora pa davah?! Kaya ayun, fly na ang beauty namin paalis kila Jho. Ang natira lang dun – sila Padu, Lorence Joyce, and Leslee. And rumor has it na hindi pa sila nakuntento sa punishment na nareceive ng videoke mic on the hands of Jho’s other friends. Kaya ayun, nagpakasadista sila at nagsikantahan pa rin! Okey, so that’s one party down. One more to go. Ito naman, as usual, late na rin ako. Muntik na nga magtampo sakin ng tuluyan ang celebrant, si Chenee, coz I first told her at the last minute na hindi ako makakapunta kasi nga hindi ako makaalis dun kila Jho. Lo and behold, before the super last minute nung last minute, nakaabot pa ako sa The Pit sa Malate! Wooooohoooooo! My meal’s gone cold on me na. I was not that hungry either so I just nibbled on my food before off I trotted into the other end of the table papunta sa end nila Jenny and Raz, etc. Coz that’s where I felt most at home. Not that I’m complaining about the seating arrangement ha – mas in-tune lang ang radar ko sa mga tao on the opposite end of the spectrum. So ikaw na nagbabasa nito, wag kang mag-assume. Ayt?
And well, my night with Chenee had to end din naman. The first plan was to watch The Terminal sa Rob pero it didn’t happen kasi medyo late na yung pag-alis namin dun. So ayun, tumambay na lang kami sa Roxas Boulevard. And when I say tambay, I really mean TaMbAy. Our already-tired feet brought us by the bay at around 10:30 PM. We left the baywalk at around 6AM na. Whew! Isa sa mga pinakamalupit na usapan that I have ever participated in. Ang saya saya to the nth level! We all went to the baywalk with our tummies full, and we all left with our brains even fuller. Hehehe… ang sarap ng feeling! Topics ranged from “Bakit usisero ang mga Pinoy?” to “Bakit hindi puwede manligaw ang mga babae?” to “Did we really land on the moon?” to “Kelan tayo pupunta ng Palawan for vacation?” to “Do aliens exist?” to “What happened to Gayle’s bro?” and a whooole looot mooore… lahat na yata ng topics under the sun eh na-tackle in one way or another… But sadly, shempre, natapos din ang aming outdoor slumber party. Kinailangan rin naming umuwi sa aming mga butihing tahanan (Plastik!) at magpahinga. Wait… I must be mistaken… did I just mention “pahinga”?! Now that is a lie. I went home not to cement my butt on my bed, but to have a “retouch” on myself before I drag my booty to Araneta Coliseum that same morning. For what you ask?! The 2004 Nestle Nonstop Cheerdance Competition! Wohooo! Now that’s what you call the UP spirit! In fact, maagang-maaga pa lang eh nakapila na yung friend ko sa ticket booth eh. And oh my sh*t, the line was unexaggeratedly endless. You simply cannot see where the line ends. That’s how hot this event was. Scorching heat! In the end, the UST Salinggawi Dance Troupe ended up on top for the 3rd year in a row – their second 3-peat in UAAP cheerdancing. UP placed second and FEU was on third. It was the same top 3 results as last year’s competition actually. A big congratulations to UST, but I would have expected more originality from them. The fact that their execution was flawless, I believe, made them win the competition. Contrary to what many people believed, I never had any doubts that UP won’t be on the top 3. Our originality was there, our costumes were unique (though lackluster), and the degree of difficulty of our routine was tops among everyone else. But the execution was quite off. That has always been the UST SDT’s edge over us. They all make it look so easy. As for FEU, a clean routine, a high DoD, crowd-pleasing grooves made them win again – despite the fact that they had to reuse their costumes last year coz the ones they were supposed to use didn’t come on time. Still, being the proud isko that I am, a very big kudos to the UP Pep Squad for still being the premier pep squad that they have always been! That was the first time that I have ever seen them perform in the flesh and I feel truly blessed to have been there at their time of triumph. To the UP Pep Squad, keep it up! But anyway, here’s to another year of waiting for the 2005 cheerdance competition. We’ve got rhythm, we’ve got the beat! UP’s in the house! Hu-hah!

Matatapang, matatalino
Walang takot kahit kanino
Hinding-hindi magpapahuli
Ganyan kaming mga taga-UP!

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 5:57 AM.

Away

Your world doesnt revolve around you alone
And neither does anyone else's
Fury is something you don't want condoned
Please my life with no pretentions

For years under your steering directions
I have fallen prey to my own infinite cage
I hate you now and i want out at this moment
Just let me be, a person of age

Just one morning of fun, one night of bliss
To my life is something inimitable
A new environment, a rebirth of passion
To my senses, is nothing but pure satisfaction

Just let me go, let me be free
And in time, i will come back
But guard my cage with my soul inside
And it's over, i want my life

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 8:28 AM.

ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 11:55 AM.

Which Finding Nemo Character Are You?
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ExploratoriuM
brainfarted around 1:03 PM.